The Rap Of Eddy C
by glowstick988
Summary: I made this up for my friend, when we were discussing what Edward Cullen would be like as a rapper.So alas, a rap about the life of a vampire named Edward Cullen. :You should review. :You can flame if you want, but keep in mind that this is a joke.


yo my name is eddy c and i'm a vampy  
i was born in chicago, near the busy streets  
but when i was seventeen, my parents were dying  
and carlisle came and bit me  
the transformation caused pain  
it took several days  
but by the end of that night, i was a big fright  
bright red eyes, hunger for blood,

when i realized the transformation was done  
i learned the ways of the cullen house  
they didn't kill humans  
they chose lions, deer, a mouse  
but i didn't want those, you see,  
i wanted humans when i was thirsty!

so eventually i rebelled against his rules  
and carlisle did not think this was cool  
so i decided i wanted a life of my own  
so i packed my bags and decided to go

i had a special gift since i "died"

the wonderful ability to read minds  
i decided that it was decent  
to drink blood from villians, not the innocent  
but the debt of this was too much to bear  
so i went back to forks, and my family there

in 1936 we met some guys  
some awful smelling werewolves from a quileute tribe  
we made a treaty at that time  
promising not to kill people, or cross a line  
we were only there for a few more years  
we left for other places without any tears

but we came back in 2003  
where i would unknowingly find my destiny  
on the first day of my junior year of high school  
i entered the building, an overconfident fool  
a new girl was filling everyone's minds,  
and i saw nothing special in her at the time

but as i entered the building for biology,  
i smelled her blood, it "sang" to me  
at first, she was my personal hell sent to me  
so at the time, i thought i had to flee

i went back to alaska then,  
but thought of myself as a chicken  
so i came back and realized  
the smell was something from which i couldnt' hide  
but becoming so close to her even alice couldn't see  
because pretty soon, i loved her and she loved me

but one day when i took her to our baseball game  
we met an evil tracker named james  
he took to her right at the beginning  
and i knew i had to protect her  
although i knew who would be winning   
i thought everything was going well  
when my whole plan went down to hell

she snuck off because james had her mom  
but turns out, it was a trick, she wasnt' gone  
we saved her though, before it was too late  
i had to drink her blood (which tasted great)  
but it all worked out becuase she was fine  
or at least, she was at the time

on her 18th birthday she got a paper cut  
and i knew this relation ship was too much  
i tried to convince her i had moved on  
not knowing the danger she'd had forced apon

the agony was far too much to take  
but i knew i had to leave her, for her sake  
but one day i got a call from rosalie  
saying that bella was d-e-a-d  
so i went to italy to see if they could also kill me  
they said no, but i didn't run i decided to step out into the sun

but right before i even could bella was there, and i thought it was all good  
but aro and the rest of the volturi  
told me that bella had to be made a vampy  
i promised them she would, with no intentions of it  
but trust me, she wouldn't hear of it

she put her mortality to a vote at my home  
and i decided she would if we were betrothed  
she said no, but carlisle agreed  
but she decided she'd rather let me  
i told her to at least graduate first,  
but i began finding colleges to distract her

when we heard about vampire killings in the city  
i wouldn't let her near (a vampire victim isn't pretty)  
i became so protective i wouldn't let her see her friend  
but i let loose, and she saw jacob in the end  
i was jealous of him, and he knew it  
he thought he could have her, that i probably blew it

later on, i smelled a scent of a stranger  
a vampire in bella's bedroom, that definitely spelled 'danger'  
so we realized we had to battle newborn vampires  
and we knew that this would be dire  
jasper taught us how to fight  
we joined forces with the werewolves in the middle of the night  
we had to get our seattle back  
so i said, "LET'S KICK SOME NEWBORN ASS!"

we fought the battle and we won  
but we all knew the deed wasn't done  
it was victoria we still had to kill  
even the thought of her could give me chills

so i kept bella safe and went after her  
and i ripped her apart, of that i'm sure  
so now bella's safe, in my arms  
and there's no james or victoria to cause her harm


End file.
